Milen was here!

This website's many fans have written to me so many fanmails that I cant answer to all of you guys.  I will thus try to answer to the most recurrent question:

• Are you gay?

Not today.

• Is your name really Milen or are you just a fan of Milène Farmer?

Milen is a code name

• What do you look like?

Here's a picture; don't show the police.

• Would you like to buy Viagra?

Hey man, this was supposed to be a private conversation.

• Do you really think you're funny?

Yep, do you know the difference between you and a camel?

• Would you like to marry a Russian chick in order for her to become Amercian?

Send a picture!

• Are you the master of the universe?

Unfortunately I am only his poor servant on this planet.

• Would you like a penis enlargment?

What did I say, I don't know you in public, please keep our deals private.

• Are you a guru?

Yep, send a 1000 dollar check to my account and I ll let you in the sect.  I accept all beautiful girls for free (I am sick of paying to have sex).

• Where are you?

Funny guy, as if I was going to tell you, agent!

• Are you a virgin?

My friends thought that I would never grow out of it, so for my 38th birthday, they paid a hooker.  Well, I couldn't get it up and farted while she did her strip; but she told me I was her favorite client!

I went the other day to another Britney Spears concert.  Her tits had shrinked during the night.  Well, I still like her!

Hi, my name be Milen and I like this shop, dunno why.

Ok, there are too many Gs.

Milen still likes flags and would like to present to you this poem about the Australian flag:

The grey gull sat on a floating whale,
On a floating whale sat he;
And he told his tale of the storm and the gale,
And the ships he’d seen under steam and sail.
As he flew by the Northern Sea.

‘I have seen a sign that is strange and new,
That I never before did see
A flying ship, that roared as it flew,
The storm and the tempest driving through;
Now what would that be?’ said he.

‘And its flag was a Jack with stars displayed,
A flag that is new to me,
For it does not ply in the Northern trade,
But it drove through the storm-wrack unafraid;
Now whose is that flag?’ said he.

‘I have seen that flag that is starred with white,’
Said a Southern gull, said he:
‘I saw it fly in a bloody fight,
When the raider Emden turned in flight.
And crashed on the Cocos lee’.

'Now who are these whose flag is the first
Of all the flags that fly
To dare the storm and the fog accurst
Of the great North Sea, where the bergs are nursed,
And the Northern Lights ride high?

‘The Australian folk,’ said a lone sea-mew,
‘The Australian Flag,’ said he.
‘It is strange that a folk that is far and few
Should fly its flag where never there flew
Another flag!’ said he.

‘I have followed its flag in the fields of France,
With the-white stars flying free,
And no misfortune and no mischance
Could turn them back from the line of advance
Or the line they held,’ said he.

‘Wherever on earth there’s a rule to break,
Wherever they oughtn’t to be.
With a death to dare and a risk to take,
A track to find or a way to make,
You will find them there,’ said he.

They come from a land that is parched with thirst,
From vast dry plains,’ said he;
‘On risk and danger their breed is nursed;
And thus it happens their flag is first,
To fly o’er the Northern Sea’.

Though Hawker perished, he overcame
The risks of the storm and the sea,
And his name shall be written in stars or flame
On the heroes' scroll in the Temple of Fame,
For the rest of the world to see.

Happy time!

Here is a flag again at night.

Some of the cars Milen would love:

See the website of this car, especially the price!

Milen was there too for the wedding car which wasen't typical:

Unfortunately, Milen has to stick with his good ole car:

At least, he proudly says: "its not a Lada"  [Whatever!]

Milen would never miss a concert of Britney Spears

Milen was in front of this church and thought that it was ugly.

Here are some more flags.

My selection of funny flags:

I like to call it the flag of Greenland.

Talk to the foot babe coz the head aint listening.

Scary

Couldn't do like the others, huh smarty pants?

Siamese twin eagle flag.

The siamese twin eagles actually died when they were seperating them, so they stuffed one, nailed it on the flag and put a cow's head on it.

Here is the other siamese twin eagle which wasen't stuffed.

Welcome to Andorra, tequila, cows and octopusses.

Hey guys, it is supposed to be a hammer and a sickle.

This is the new pirate flag: "if you come within our range, the red hamster will sink your boat".

The tuna-sandwich islands

To help us, you can buy a carpet from our sponsor: Ali's Carpet Bazaar.

Aladdin's country.

The hare and the tortoise II: the lion and the tortoise.

Dead parrot society: A sketch with stupid bird flags.

Mr. Praline: 'Ello, I wish to register a complaint.

     (The owner does not respond.)

     Mr. Praline: 'Ello, Miss?

     Owner: What do you mean "miss"?

     Mr. Praline: I'm sorry, I have a cold. I wish to make a complaint!

     Owner: We're closin' for lunch.

     Mr. Praline: Never mind that, my lad. I wish to complain about this parrot what I purchased not half an hour ago from this very boutique.

     Owner: Oh yes, the, uh, the Norwegian Blue...What's,uh...What's wrong with it?

     Mr. Praline: I'll tell you what's wrong with it, my lad. 'E's dead, that's what's wrong with it!

     Owner: No, no, 'e's uh,...he's resting.

     Mr. Praline: Look, matey, I know a dead parrot when I see one, and I'm looking at one right now.

     Owner: No no he's not dead, he's, he's restin'! Remarkable bird, the Norwegian Blue, idn'it, ay? Beautiful plumage!

     Mr. Praline: The plumage don't enter into it. It's stone dead.

     Owner: Nononono, no, no! 'E's resting!

     Mr. Praline: All right then, if he's restin', I'll wake him up! (shouting at the cage) 'Ello, Mister Polly Parrot! I've got a lovely fresh cuttle fish for you if you
     show...

     (owner hits the cage)

     Owner: There, he moved!

     Mr. Praline: No, he didn't, that was you hitting the cage!

     Owner: I never!!

     Mr. Praline: Yes, you did!

     Owner: I never, never did anything...

     Mr. Praline: (yelling and hitting the cage repeatedly) 'ELLO POLLY!!!!! Testing! Testing! Testing! Testing! This is your nine o'clock alarm call!

     (Takes parrot out of the cage and thumps its head on the counter. Throws it up in the air and watches it plummet to the floor.)

     Mr. Praline: Now that's what I call a dead parrot.

     Owner: No, no.....No, 'e's stunned!

     Mr. Praline: STUNNED?!?

     Owner: Yeah! You stunned him, just as he was wakin' up! Norwegian Blues stun easily, major.

     Mr. Praline: Um...now look...now look, mate, I've definitely 'ad enough of this. That parrot is definitely deceased, and when I purchased it not 'alf an hour
     ago, you assured me that its total lack of movement was due to it bein' tired and shagged out following a prolonged squawk.

     Owner: Well, he's...he's, ah...probably pining for the fjords.

     Mr. Praline: PININ' for the FJORDS?!?!?!? What kind of talk is that?, look, why did he fall flat on his back the moment I got 'im home?

     Owner: The Norwegian Blue prefers keepin' on it's back! Remarkable bird, id'nit, squire? Lovely plumage!

      Mr. Praline: Look, I took the liberty of examining that parrot when I got it home, and I discovered the only reason that it had been sitting on its perch in the
     first place was that it had been NAILED there.

     (pause)

     Owner: Well, o'course it was nailed there! If I hadn't nailed that bird down, it would have nuzzled up to those bars, bent 'em apart with its beak, and
     VOOM! Feeweeweewee!

     Mr. Praline: "VOOM"?!? Mate, this bird wouldn't "voom" if you put four million volts through it! 'E's bleedin' demised!

     Owner: No no! 'E's pining!

     Mr. Praline: 'E's not pinin'! 'E's passed on! This parrot is no more! He has ceased to be! 'E's expired and gone to meet 'is maker! 'E's a stiff! Bereft of life, 'e
     rests in peace! If you hadn't nailed 'im to the perch 'e'd be pushing up the daisies! 'Is metabolic processes are now 'istory! 'E's off the twig! 'E's kicked the
     bucket, 'e's shuffled off 'is mortal coil, run down the curtain and joined the bleedin' choir invisibile!! THIS IS AN EX-PARROT!!

     (pause)

     Owner: Well, I'd better replace it, then. (he takes a quick peek behind the counter) Sorry squire, I've had a look 'round the back of the shop, and uh,
     we're right out of parrots.

     Mr. Praline: I see. I see, I get the picture.

     Owner: I got a slug.

     (pause)

     Mr. Praline: Pray, does it talk?

     Owner: Nnnnot really.

     Mr. Praline: WELL IT'S HARDLY A BLOODY REPLACEMENT, IS IT?!!???!!?

     Owner: N-no, I guess not. (gets ashamed, looks at his feet)

     Mr. Praline: Well.

     (pause)

     Owner: (quietly) D'you.... d'you want to come back to my place?

     Mr. Praline: (looks around) Yeah, all right, sure.

No books allowed in this country.

We didn't have nails so we couldn't nail a bird on the flag.  We didn't have glue so we couldn't paste a star on our flag.  But we had duct tape!

    TIMBER!

Voodoo flag.

No men in this country, so big crosses are used instead...

Ridiculous ones:

A lion, a helmet, a seal, a deer and an uncomed penguin!?

She sells sea shels on the sea shore.

Hey, we've got no queen, lets crown a tree instead!

Here they certanly feel no shame about their zoophily.  Is it Scotland?

Rugby playing lion? Bananas, a white pigeon carrying a leaf?

Stupidest looking bird.

No comment needed, just plainly ridiculous.

Can someone tell me what actually is on this flag?

And on this one?

Now this is a nice flag; but why did they have to put a fried chicken with a wheel on top of the helmet?

The new French flag: they don't need a seperate white flag for surrender; two white flags are already on it!

Look in the center, you feel tired... tired... your eyes are closing... you are falling asleep...

Now this is my favorite flag: